@Lord Of The Internet
What were 3 the most difficult things in prison for you (and why if possible)?
The answer to both of these questions are kind of intertwined.
I definitely have changed. Some changes have made me better and some have made me worse.
I'll start with the good ... I no longer take anything in life for granted. Even small things that you wouldn't ever think of are more comforting than you would ever imagine. Like having a pillow, for example. I also better appreciate the love I get from my family and friends. I didn't realize just how important they were to me until they were taken away, which is the single most difficult thing about being incarcerated. What's also difficult is that I didn't realize what they were willing to go through on my behalf and I feel very guilty. I owe some of them a debt I can probably never repay.
I have also changed in some bad ways. I'm no longer an optimist. I blindly went through life thinking that as long as people do what they believe to be right, everything will always end up fine. And now I don't believe that is true. Me and my friends hold strong beliefs in personal freedom, including the right to put whatever you want into your own body. Although I don't see anything morally wrong with selling heroin, for example, I only sold non addictive drugs because I didn't want to be personally connected to something that is likely to impact someone's life in a negative way. We could have made a lot more money but chose to only sell hallucinogens and marijuana, in part, because those substances can actually help people. And even if used recreationally, those substances are unlikely to hurt anyone.
I also used to be a pacifist. But due to incarceration, I've been forced into violent situations. I wish I could have held to those views and turned the other cheek. And I feel that is actually the stronger way to approach a situation. But I couldn't let myself become a victim, so I fought, and now I've hurt people. I never would have imagined myself being a violent person but now, I am.
Doing things you never thought yourself capable of is another one of the harder things about being in prison. I had a lot of reasons for my actions like self-preservation, ego, comfort, anger, etc. But it still doesn't completely excuse them. Just so you understand a little better, I'll tell you guys one of many stories. I actually had a prison bitch. No, I am not gay and never did anything remotely sexual while in prison. But weird things do happen. It started by me befriending a huge hispanic guy that was in the Latin Kings gang by doing a lot of business with him. Like finding people to buy certain thing from him and getting money wired to him. The Latin King had a prison bitch that he was looking out for ... a weird, fat kid who was there for wire fraud, who would be taken advantage of without some sort of protection. They ended up having this strange mutual romance that'll I'll never quite understand. But they were both nice guys and I hung out with them a lot. Anyways ... the Latin King ended up getting a transfer to an institution closer to his wife and kids, so he knew he was leaving soon. He ended up "giving" me his bitch because he wanted someone he trusted to take care of the weird fat kid. I ended up keeping my bitch till the day I left and no one messed with him. And luckily, the weird fat kid got released a few weeks after me, so I'm pretty sure he's doing fine. Weird fat kid made a lot of sexual advances towards me but I had definitely not been locked up long enough to even consider accepting. I did let him do a lot of favors for me though. Like running random errands. And being my personal lookout to warn me and my friends when the guards were coming close, which was very helpful. I needed a lookout a lot because I got prison tattoos, drank wine, and smoked. And never got caught doing any of those things which saved me from having to go to the hole. I did have to go to the hole only once though, for getting caught fighting. The hole is straight up hell on earth, but that's a story for another day.
@
Lord Of The Internet
"operation adam bomb" -- that was Th Frmrs Mrkt right? How were they able to disclose it over Tor?
Yup, we were "the farmer's market" and came out before dark web sites went mainstream with the silk road. I went by the name of "jootgatter". We're not ENTIRELY sure how they caught us. But part of it has to do with Hushmail cooperating with law enforcement. That doesn't explain everything though because we used VPNs, tor, mail forwarding services, and a lot of encryption. My lawyer is under the impression that the DEA did a lot of "parallel construction" of evidence using their SOD division.
https://www.muckrock.com/news/archives/2014/feb/03/dea-parallel-construction-guides/
I know something very fishy was going on because the 60something page indictment had a large amount of evidence in it that was straight up false, along with some made up associations and communications. But the indictment and evidence also had little tidbits in there that seem next to impossible for them to know.
At first, I wondered why law enforcement would put so much effort into catching people like us that were so small-time in the grand scheme of things. But I found out they were really after ross ulbricht and the silk road. I don't know about my co-conspirators but I, personally, got a lot of extrajudicial treatment. Like being "disappeared" when I was first arrested by being thrown into I.C.E. (immigration and customs enforcement) and getting interrogated many many times without being able to speak with a lawyer. During the interrogations, I quickly came to realize that they either thought I was the dread pirate or could, at least, lead them to him. It turns out that Ulbricht got arrested about a block away from where my brother lives in San Francisco and a lot of travel patterns or communications must have matched up. I have a feeling what we never would have been in their crosshairs if they hadn't wanted to arrest the silk road admin so badly.
