Feedback for the Dash v1 white paper:
1) The first graph should state Bitcoin clearly (eg: "Figure 1: Bitcoin Full nodes in the spring of 2014")
2) There is a random word, "coin" just before section 2.1.
3) Should change "doesn’t" to "does not". (no contractions)
4) Should elaborate "AAPL". For example, "if AAPL is" should change to "if Apple Stock (AAPL) is".
5) "Upon starting a Masternode" should have a comma. "Upon starting, a Masternode".
6) "To pay the Masternodes this interface" should have a comma. "To pay the Masternodes, this interface".
7) "it’s" should just be "it is". (s/it's/it is/g')
8) Fix extra spacing in "approach , denominations". (to "approach, denominations")
9) Add Bitcoin to "Figure 2: An example Coinjoin transaction with 2 users [11][12]" (example:" Figure 2: An example Bitcoin Coinjoin transaction with 2 users [11][12]")
10) Add Bitcoin to "of Coinjoin, it’s possible". (to "of Bitcoin Coinjoin, it’s possible")
11) Add Bitcoin to "Figure 3: Forward Change Linking" (to "Figure 3: Example of Bitcoin Forward Change Linking")
12) Decimal amounts should always have leading zero. ('.7BTC' should be '0.7BTC') This should be changed in the graphic(s) as well.
13) "Figure 4: Through Change Linking" should have Bitcoin added (example: "Figure 4: Through Change Linking of Bitcoin")
14) Need to explain "DOS". This "3.3 Improved Privacy and DOS resistance" should be changed to "3.3 Improved Privacy and Denial of service (DOS) resistance"
15) There should be a ":" colon following this text, "as follows" should be "as follows:".
16) Should a table caption be a sentence? "Table 3. The probability of follow a Darksend transaction on the network given the attacker controls N Nodes." should be "Table 3. Probability of follow a Darksend transaction on the network given the attacker controls N Nodes".
17. Add date to "(5.3 million at the time of writing)". For example, "(5.3 million at the time of writing, April 2015)".
18. Change "can’t" to "cannot".
19. Should explain acronyms CPU and GPU. For example, "Central Processing Unit (CPU)" and "Graphics Processing Unit (GPU)".
20. Add page header/footers. (with page number and something like "Dash Whitepaper (v1)") Probably add link to official site for the whitepaper.
21. Add p2p after the first use of "peer-to-peer". (to "peer-to-peer (p2p)")
22. Add graph of the estimated number of Masternodes, showing growth over time.
23. Sometimes there is a space between the quantity of DASH and the word DASH. (example: "1000 DASH") It should be consistent throughout. Either "1000 DASH" or "1000DASH".
24. Change heading from "5.1 x11" to "5.1 x11 hashing algorithm".
25. Should have info regarding where code is located (
https://github.com/dashpay/dash) and mention that it is completely open source.
26. Should there be mention of the Foundation?
Most of these are minor edits, but they detract the reader.