FWIW I followed pretty much the same steps as you and had the same result. I found that stopping and restarting my remote darkcoind again (after starting masternode from my local comp) got me on the list for both my remote and local machine. However after a good hour or so I'm still not showing...
Has anyone tried starting a 2nd masternode from the same 1000 drk wallet using this method? I hope it doesn't work for the sake of drk prices, though it would mean a lot of nodes if it does.